Life Lessons Learned

Dawn of the final day

One post remaining! For once, I managed to stick to my commitments, albeit a little behind schedule – but hey, who’s keeping track? I wanted to get 5 posts done for Blaugust, one per week, and I did technically get there. So huzzah, let the bells ring and the banners fly! The idea behind the final week – Lessons Learned – is supposed to be about the Blaugust process, and what wisdom I’ve gained from my writing journey this past month. But truthfully, other than having this event pushing me to put metaphorical pen to paper, I haven’t changed much of my writing habits or how I approach translating my thoughts from Meghan HQ (AKA my brain) into a mostly-coherent post. I still have awful time management skills, rush to finish things in the eleventh hour, and generally seem to be more of an “ideas” person than an execution person. Mistakes were made, and lessons will not be learned. I will continue to be terrible. But this was all to say that I wanted to write a slightly more personal, rambling post about life lessons I’ve learned lately, and how (hopefully) these lessons can help me moving forward.

I had kind of a rough summer, friends-wise. I’ve been having issues with feeling like what I call the “Shelf Friend” – the kind of friend that people contact when they need something, or when they’re bored, only to put back on the shelf to collect dust once they’re finished. I also have an extremely hard time dropping people, even if I feel like I’m being treated poorly; I tend to hang on to friendships even if they aren’t exactly contributing anything of value to my life. And I hate using the word “value” because it almost implies something material, or transactional, when really I just mean someone who contributes something positive to my life, someone who I believe genuinely cares about me in some way, shape, or form (doesn’t even have to be that deep). It’s hard, feeling like you’re more invested in a connection than the other person, and I do find it draining mentally and emotionally.

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It do feel like this sometimes.

I’d been feeling quite low for a while, and constantly questioning my worth (in terms of how important I was to other people) certainly wasn’t helping. Seeing constant bad news and all the chaos going on in the world wasn’t great either. I decided to take a break from Twitter, and deactivate for a while (as that was a huge source of my daily news consumption) and it actually did help to improve my mood. Focusing on a routine, and – as silly as it sounds – feeling more grounded in my life rather than thinking about what other people were doing was strangely therapeutic. I finally felt “well” enough to make the hard decision that I’d been avoiding – it was time to cut some people off. Not out of malice, and certainly not without some genuine sadness, but I knew it was the right choice. Knowing when to walk away from a relationship – whether it’s a friend, a romantic partner, or even a family member – is an important life lesson to learn.

So numbers were deleted, people were unfollowed, and sure, it sucked, but I had support along the way, and when all was said and done, I did feel a lot better. And this isn’t to say that walking away from friendships has to be dramatic, or because they’re terrible, awful people. Sometimes they’re just not the right person for you at that time in your life, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you hate them, or never want to speak to them again. I think it’s important to focus on positive aspects, good times had, rather than to staying bitter (sometimes easier said than done). Even if that person isn’t a part of your life anymore, they were important to you once, and I like to remember that.

This can also be tricky when it comes to online friendships – I tend to take these types of connections just as seriously as I take my real-life connections, though I know not everyone feels the same. For me, it can be just as hard to lose someone you’ve spent every day messaging for years as a friend you’ve known since middle school. These days, I spend more time chatting with friends online than I do my actual friends (and some literally live in the same neighbourhood). If pandemic life has taught me anything, it’s that fostering these types of online connections can be just as valuable as having a close circle of friends to see on a regular basis. I was talking to Jett about this earlier, and he summed it up in a pretty eloquent way – “If all parties’ hearts are in it, the medium by which your friendship is conducted is beside the point.”

I feel like I’m drifting off from the point a bit, so I’ll wrap it up: I’m trying not to let these experiences jade me, or discourage me from reaching out to people in the future, whether that’s online or in real life. Sure, not every friendship or relationship works out the way you might want it to, but I think continuing to try is the most important take away from these kinds of lessons. You might miss out on connections made otherwise (I know I’ve pursued some friendships recently that have been extremely gratifying) or find yourself disappointed that you’ve held back from certain opportunities. So while I may not have reached Sora levels of understanding the Power of Friendship, I have kept trying, and that’s good enough for now.

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This post has been horrendously positive and very off-brand for me (honestly feeling a bit nauseous) so I’ll have to go and do something evil to re-center myself. And by evil, of course I mean something like beating Gulliver with my net in Animal Crossing. And with that, we’re bringing an official end to Blaugust – its been fun, and I really did enjoy it, but thank god it’s over. I want to give one final shoutout to Nathan @ GamingOmnivore for the collaboration post, and Kate @ Blogging with Dragons for all her support, and being my tried and true Blaugust Buddy throughout. I’ll be returning to my regular posting schedule of once-in-a-blue-moon now. See you guys then ❤

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meghanplaysgames

20-something-year-old hailing from the Northern badlands of Canada. Persistent gamer, avid reader, and fledgling D&D player. I’ve played video games for as long as I can remember, and they’ve always been a big part of my love for the art of storytelling. Just trying to make it in a world where my copy of Disney’s Extreme Skate Adventure no longer works.

8 thoughts on “Life Lessons Learned”

  1. OK, had the time to read this properly this morning — and glad I did! First response: *hug*

    The online friendships thing is a tough one. While I do still believe online friendships can be every bit as meaningful and fulfilling as those made out in the real world, I know I’ve pulled back dramatically from actually doing anything about that belief for… well, years, really.

    Part of it is just time. The ever practical and rational justification. And it isn’t like this isn’t true — there was perhaps a time, where, alongside playing altogether many more hours in MMOs than life should’ve allowed, I was spending almost as much time just chatting.

    When I pulled away from spending too much time gaming, I also pulled away from the interaction. At least at that deeper 1:1 or small group setting.

    Sorry, this wound way off track after getting started. Maybe there’s another post in here.

    All this was meant to be in service of saying; that despite the fact we haven’t interacted a great deal, and certainly not much beyond surface-level type stuff, I do really like that you’re still around, still part of the community and haven’t decided to make an exit.

    I’m glad it sounds like you have an awesome set of supporters around now too.

    But if you ever do wanna chat, game, whatever — happy to do so if we can make the stars (aka, timezones) align. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thank you so much Naithin, this was such a sweet comment to read ❤

      I'm guilty of always assuming I'm bothering people and not reaching out because of it. But I do enjoy interacting with blogging people and I feel like I should make more of an effort sometimes. Unfortunately certain experiences make it harder to convince myself to do so, haha.

      I've pretty much come to the conclusion that regardless of bumps along the way, or doubts, I do love being a part of the community and I do want to stick around for the foreseeable future.

      I really appreciate the kind words! Also added you on Discord, so I hope that's okay with you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s more than OK to have added me! And even better still that regardless of the bumps you’re planning on sticking around. ❤

        In terms of assuming you're a bother when reaching out — I hear you. It is so easy to get caught up in your own head on things. Happens to all of us I reckon. Definitely happens to me at least.

        So let me say right off — you won't be a bother if you wanna message! If I don't answer — just at work, sleep, out or possibly deep in a game and haven't paid attention to Discord for a while. xD

        If we are chatting and I need or want to do something else, I'll let you know! I have no problem with that and have no problem when you wanna do the same. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Why do relationships with other people have to be so damn complicated?? 😭I definitely related with a lot of this post, eh.

    Completely cutting Twitter and Facebook out of my life did wonders for my soul. The people who bothered to keep in touch with me are now considered true friends. The people who just wanted to nose around my business and don’t actually give a shizz about me can go get rekt 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right??? Why would anything ever be simple??

      Losing Facebook was super easy, but I do have a harder time staying off of Twitter. I still talk to bloggers/online peeps there and I enjoy interacting with them. But I’ve learned to be less picky about using those block and unfollow options LOL.

      Liked by 1 person

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